


Healing Us Part Two

by Krispykritter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death to Dean only because of the way Seas 11 ended, M/M, M/M Sex, Many Season 11 Spoilers, Non/Con is past tense and retold by Sam of his time in Hell, Wincest Alert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 14:07:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8375026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krispykritter/pseuds/Krispykritter
Summary: This is a continuation from 'Healing Us' and will make more sense if you read that beforehand. This story will wind up at the end of Season 11, when Sam is shot. Sorry it doesn't go beyond there. Sammy is left with despondent thoughts that Dean is gone this time, for sure. Sam and Dean are in a very newly established relationship, still healing from the past and discovering how to love one another while trying to beat Amara. There isn't really a happy ending here, as it follows what happens in the series. My story only plugs in their loving relationship in between the episodes.





	

Chapter One 

Dean awoke from sleeping alongside his brother and was rewarded with a most pleasurable sight. Sam was out like a light with his hair all over the place and partially covering his face. It was really a hilarious site, but satisfying, because it meant the younger man was getting the rest he truly needed. Their hands had broken apart and both men had moved around in their slumber, yet somehow wound up facing each other and only inches apart on the same pillow. Dean was so glad to see Sam was finally sleeping soundly as the older man checked his watch. 'Good God,' Dean thought, as he realized they had been out like that for several hours. 'I guess my ass was tired too, geez.' Dean yawned and stretched, pushing himself up and out of bed. He looked back at Sam to make sure he wasn't stirring before he headed to the bathroom and shower. 

Dean thought back over recent events, the breakdown of Sammy from losing Dean and then trying to save him, the admission from Sam of his guilt he felt all this time from things long ago, the stress and fear of not being able to save Dean, and then the emotion in his eyes as he confessed to Dean how much intense love and desire he had been hiding for his brother. The past forty eight hours of truth and clarity had been long overdue. Both brothers had been burying the longing and attraction, denying themselves their true feelings, thinking it would alienate the other and lose what they had. 

Dean couldn't stop going over in his head how incredibly strong his little brother was, bravely taking care of business, saving people and saving 'HIM' while managing his own internal battles. He respected Sam so much, and he was beyond proud of the man he had become. Dean was shocked his little brother could have become such an incredible human being after the shitty half-assed childhood they both had endured.

After showering, Dean threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and walked to the kitchen in his socks. He grabbed a protein shake and a beer. 'Go figure,' he thought, 'can't be totally healthy, that would ruin my style.' He headed back by Sam's room to check on him again and saw that his little brother hadn't stirred. He decided to head to the common room and do some research while enjoying his beer and thinking about things. He hoped Sam would continue to sleep. 'At least it will keep him from overdoing it for awhile longer,' Dean thought. He was 'not' regretting what happened between them, but he knew he was going to have to get mean if Sam woke up and intended on starting that again. Dean was 'not' going for a repeat performance and having to pick up his brother off the floor from passing out. 'Fuck,' he thought, thinking over how powerful their attraction was for each other and how they were really needing Sam to be in tip top shape for their future physical interactions. 'Goddamn, it was fucking intense,' Dean thought. 'Who woulda' thought my fucking brother was gonna make me cum like a fucking freight train.' Dean was sighing and shaking his head at this, still overwhelmed at his feelings and intense sexual response to his brother. He was beginning to get hard, just thinking about their first time about seven hours before. 

Dean ruled out going on line and searching for men on men sex ideas at the moment. He never thought of guys that way, but 'now'. Dean sighed again and rubbed his hand over his face as he absorbed how much Sam affected him and his whole being. Other men had no effect on Dean, but Sam.....well, Sam was just one of a kind and obviously directly plugged in to Dean's dick. 

Sam was important and worth some research. 'Like I said before, I am turning into a fucking sap...actually volunteering for research?' Dean wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing when he and Sam got that far, but he didn't think now was a good idea. He would only start imagining shit with Sam and work himself up to a jack off session. 'Jesus Christ, I should be an older man, by now, approaching forty, but Sam affects me like I'm fucking nineteen again.'

Dean was having trouble admitting that to himself. Things had completely turned upside down in the last few days between he and Sam. 'Christ, I do 'not' want to screw this up.'

Dean went ahead and checked all the news websites for updates about Amara, he kept silencing his phone from several attempted calls from Crowley. 'Fuck him,' Dean was still pissed that Sam had gone through that time in the cage because of Crowley's and Rowena's screw ups. He didn't want to talk to either of them. He ignored his phone and kept up the research on the laptop, searching for anything useful. An hour later, Dean left the research and went to finish laundry. He found the pile Sam had left the night before by the machines and decided to do all of it. Dean did a couple loads and cleaned up his room and the bathroom and shower. He was feeling pretty domestic all of a sudden. He even looked at the ironing board but thought 'nah' to himself and that it wasn't necessary. They wouldn't need any ironed shirts until they hit a case and wore their FBI suits, so he didn't need to worry about it. If Dean had his way, they wouldn't be taking any cases for at least a few days. He was gonna push the issue of keeping Sam down as much as he could. 

The older brother went to the kitchen and brought out some steaks and potatoes, thinking he would go for grilling outside. "Jesus Christ, and the domestic-ation continues...just call me Mrs. F-ing Cleaver," Dean said out loud. Sam had been asleep all this time. Dean hadn't heard a peep from his room. It was awesome to know the kid was sleeping this long. He went about spicing the meat and putting some potatoes in foil and then he proceeded to head up the garage stairs and light the bbq just outside the garage. 

The boys had brought back a bbq long ago and used it occasionally. No one ever came around the rural building so it had been safe to leave it outside. Dean lit the bbq and began waiting for it to heat up. He still couldn't stop thinking about his newfound loving relationship with Sam. Finally...after all the years, all the shit, all the directionless attempts at half-assed relationships with women and the quick fucks. 'Why does this end of the world crap have to happen now,' Dean angrily thought. 'Fuck, we never get a break.' Dean knew, as did Sam, that the battle to come was going to either end humanity or save it. They also knew there was a chance that one of them, or both of them, was not going to live through it. Dean thought, 'if we go to the void, I fucking hope we're together...because there is just NO living without him.' 

Dean finished all the food and it smelled fantastic. He was pretty proud that he had learned a few bbq and cooking techniques from living with Lisa for awhile. He could at least whip up a few things comfortably without scorching them. 

As he brought the dinners back into the bunker and sat them on the meeting room table, Dean thought he heard something in the back hall. He called out to his brother, "Sam," just to see if maybe the younger man had gotten up. When Dean got no answer, he headed to Sam's room to check it out. Dean couldn't help being the worry wort, it's just who he was. Sam's room was empty and so Dean realized he definitely 'had' heard something. He went down the hall toward the kitchen with no luck at finding Sam, then headed toward the bathroom and shower. 

'Ah...shower,' Dean thought, as he heard the steamy water running. Dean smiled to himself thinking about how good it was going to feel for his brother to 'finally' get the shower he had wanted yesterday. Poor Sam had been dying to get in there. Dean decided not to hover too much...but he really had to fight himself from wanting to go in there and soap his lovely brother up in suds and move his hands all over Sam's body, just to experiment. Dean visualized touching him on his most sensitive parts and revving the man up. 'Fuck,' Dean thought. I'm not going to get Sam well at this rate...back the fuck off, Dean.' 

He sighed and forced himself to walk back to the kitchen and grab some condiments and utensils, two beers and napkins. He set up the table for the two of them to eat together and then thought better of the second beer, 'maybe I should've held back on the beer,' thinking of Sam and his current state. But then Dean decided, 'nah, he's fine, no pain meds anymore,' and so he left the beer for Sam to enjoy. It was awhile before he was joined by Sam. 

Dean began to think he should be hovering over the kid instead of giving him his space to enjoy being clean and dressed, but as he rose to go check on Sam, the younger man walked in. Sam was walking slower than usual but he wasn't favoring his side or anything. Dean's gaze went right to Sam's eyes, looking for any signs of pain, but found none. 

"Hey," Dean offered a greeting and a smile. He was so happy to see his baby brother looking healthy and fresh and 'not' in pain and bleeding that he may have sounded a bit over zealous in that greeting. "Hey," Sam responded and walked right up to Dean, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and planted him with a wet kiss. Sam spared no hesitation as he took what he wanted, right then and there. Dean had no say in the matter and was pretty much assaulted orally, as Sam guided the kiss with his hand behind Dean's head and his other hand around Dean's waist. 

'Wow,' Dean's tows curled and he immediately melted into the kiss, being totally floored and swept away. Dean forgot all his plans to resist anything physical with Sam for awhile, as both his hands grabbed the back of Sam's head and pulled him closer. Dean's breathing immediately sped up and he wound up barely able to get enough oxygen as Sam was devouring him with his tongue. Dean's tongue was totally not listening to Dean's commands to take it easy and devoured the younger man's mouth. 

Sam felt so good, waking up after about ten long hours of REM. He was so happy to take a long hot shower and really enjoyed soaping up his hair 'twice'. 'Fuck', he was in Heaven, feeling the suds run down off his body and hair and standing under the hot waterfall for several long minutes. He couldn't believe he had slept for ten hours and to top it off, no nightmares. Sam threw on clean boxers and sweats, t shirt and socks, and waltzed out into the common area like a man with a purpose. Sam's first intention was to make sure he hadn't dreamt it all and that everything he and Dean had shared in the last two days was really true. His gaze fixed on Dean like tractor beam. He walked toward Dean like a lifeline and suddenly was overtaken with the compulsion to kiss the shit out of his new lover. 

Sam had missed the top notch meal on the table because he made a bee line for his brother's mouth, totally focused on his target. God, kissing Dean was incredible. 'I want the entire rest of my life to be like this,' Sam thought, as he kissed Dean with ownership, possessiveness and total abandoned passion. The boys were totally immersed in each other for several minutes. The kiss went on with both men sliding their mouths back and forth, feeling every sensation of tongue against tongue, investigating the taste and texture of each other's mouths. 

Neither man thought of anything else, simply enjoying the moment of pure bliss. Finally, the brothers pulled back as their mouths gave each other a temporary reprieve. They gently kissed, receding their passion for the time being in order to look into each others eyes. They shared a moment of unspoken understanding that both were definitely in this together and no one was pulling back and no one was having second thoughts. This was Dean and this was Sam. 

Both men were still feeling the enormity of what they were doing and of what they had done so far. This was something people spent a lifetime searching for, some never finding it. This was something that neither had planned and neither could fight any longer and it was right in front of them for the taking. They smiled warmly as these realizations set in. 

As they backed away and let their hands fall to their sides, Dean cleared his throat and tried to play the nonchalant carefree big brother who Sam was used to bitching about having to do all the chores and cooking so 'Samantha' could get her beauty sleep. Dean was grinning the whole time he was proceeding to bitch and Sam was loving it. He finally noticed the steak and potato that Dean had set up on the table and went over and sat to enjoy it. Dean and Sam ate dinner without bringing up any deep discussions, totally 'ooh' and 'aah-ing' over the tasty meal. Dean had really outdone himself. 

Sam threw a jibe in at Dean and said he really might enjoy having a 'Deanna' around to cook all the meals and Dean promptly tossed a balled up piece of foil at him, hitting him squarely in the nose. They were happy. They were at peace. Sam sighed and his eyes rolled up into his head as he sucked on his beer. "mmmm...oh God, that's good." Dean was stopped in his tracks for a minute, reacting to Sam's gesture. 'He really has no idea how fucking hot he is,' Dean thought, as he watched Sam enjoy his first beer in awhile. 

Dean smiled and continued to watch his brother's ministrations. His little brother was so open and vocal about little pleasures...Dean was deliriously pleased to see his little brother had some of his old personality back. 'He isn't closed off right now,' Dean thought. While they were enjoying their after dinner beer, the continuous buzzing of Sam's phone alert became annoying. Sam looked over and got up to see what the heck someone could possibly be messaging him for....Dean sighed thinking that it may be fucking Crowley who he had been ignoring all day. Sure enough. 

Chapter Two

The King of Hell convinced the brothers to meet him and listen to a plan he had devised to remove Lucifer from Castiel and defeat Amara. He convinced them that he had a new weapon of God and he needed to explain his idea in person, and not on speaker phone. Dean pointed at Sam and said, "Nada, dude, YOU are grounded." At Sam's eye roll, Dean said "Look Sammy, no more pushing your recovery, no more fucking passing out, and no more fucking scaring the shit out of your old brother." Sam sighed heavily and wasn't looking Dean in the eye as he avoided arguing. Dean wasn't convinced Sam was going to agree so he pushed for an answer, "Got it?" Sam reluctantly agreed in a semi-snotty tone, "Yes, Dean," agreeing to give it another day before they met with Crowley and heard the plan. 

Dean explained to Crowley they weren't gonna go in all blazes until Sam had extra time to recover. Without Cas to help, they certainly couldn't bounce back to perfect health within seconds from an injury like that. Sam was eager to jump into battle, of course, and so was Dean, but the older man could 'not' bring himself to tackle 'anything' dangerous until Sam healed, and saving Cas wasn't gonna be a picnic...nothing ever was. 

Sam helped Dean clean up all the dinner dishes and kitchen. He seemed to be moving around like nothing was hindering him. This really made Dean feel better about things. He still didn't trust himself after losing control the night before and so he kept his comfortable distance from Sam, enjoying their light banter. Sam was claiming he was still feeling some tiredness but he really wanted to do something together like play cards or watch movies. The Darkness was weighing heavily on both their minds and something mindless and entertaining would be a welcome distraction. 

Both brothers both enjoyed the comfort of each other and surfed through some Netflix after playing a few rounds of poker. Sam fell asleep. Both men had been propped up shoulder to shoulder, enjoying the latest Avenger movie, when Dean heard the slight snore next to him. Sam's head was resting sideways and facing Dean. 'He's even fucking adorable and sexy when he's out cold,' Dean thought smiling. Sam was out and his hair had fallen into his eyes, his mouth was lightly open and Dean thought he just might be drooling. He had the innocence of sleep on his face, completely at peace. Dean couldn't help brushing the hair out of Sam's face with his free hand. His other hand was holding the remote to Sam's tv so he clicked it off. Dean didn't really feel like going back to his room. 'This is where I want to be,' he told himself, but he still thought it was annoying how much of a sap he had become around Sam. 'I'm Fucking toast,' Dean sighed. 

Dean woke up early the next morning and by the time he was all done with cereal and toast, Sam had gotten up and joined him. While his little brother ate his own cereal, Dean observed him and noticed the younger man seemed perkier. Sam knew he still needed to be careful not to pull anything inside, but overall he knew he was much better. Dean agreed they would at least meet with Crowley and hear his plan of how to get Lucifer out of Cas by convincing Lucifer to use an Archangel's horn. Upon approaching the King of Hell, Dean noticed Sam's uncomfortableness when they talked about Lucifer. He knew it had to do with recently being around that son of a bitch again. Sam was understandably a target to the angel and had escaped him way too many times. Dean knew this wasn't gonna be easy for his brother to face the asshole once again. 

After arguing out the plan with Crowley, the brothers successfully nabbed Rowena and brought her to Crowley, who had the horn. Because Amara was attacking the world, they couldn't wait any longer to initiate their plan. Dean wasn't happy that Sam was bring drug into action this soon. He was intent on keeping Sam out of any direct hits, no matter what. That wound in his gut wasn't ready for full action. 

They performed ritual, as planned, to attract Lucifer, which trapped him in a circle of holy oil fire. Sam was seriously on edge, but he certainly wasn't going to let his brother down. It also felt good to be doing something toward defeating Amara. The plan wasn't foolproof, but it was a valiant shot at ending Amara's wrath before she continued to destroy lives. 

Sam was immediately filled with ill dread at seeing the sickening angel appear. The evil son of a bitch eyeballed him with intent. He had really pissed him off refusing him at their last encounter and then gotten away from him, AGAIN. Lucifer's trap wasn't strong enough to hold him for long, and their plan to talk to Cas was thwarted with the archangel's interference. Crowley decided to throw himself into Cas and attempt to get his attention, but Lucifer fought back and almost killed him. Sam thought quickly, as they were fighting, and recited the spell which would cast out Crowley from inside Castiel. 

Again, Dean was amazed at his little brother's strength and bravery during times like this. Especially with the threat of Lucifer's wrath. Lucifer was truly pissed and threw both brothers back against a concrete bench. He had really had enough of these two and was in the middle of choking them satisfyingly when suddenly, Amara appeared and stopped him. The two super forces stood each other off. It was quite an interesting moment for Dean and Sam to see Lucifer face Amara and wonder what in the Hell was going to happen now.

Sam hated the interest Amara seemed to have in his brother, but at that moment it came in handy. They felt Lucifer's invisible force release them from being crushed against the concrete and choked to death. Amara's ugly history with Lucifer had saved them for the moment. She wound up dragging Lucifer/Cas away and the boys high tailed it back to the bunker safely. It was a depressing turn of events. They were used to things going wrong but both had to keep up their belief that they would find a way to save everyone from this mess. 

They tried to deal with their failure to save Cas, as they sat at the meeting table in silence. Dean glanced up at Sam several times, looking for any signs of pain from Lucifer's earlier attack. The kid seemed to be lost in thought, his brow furrowed with concentration. He wasn't looking like he was in pain, but Dean was concerned for Sam's reaction to being around Lucifer again and any feelings he may be trying to hide. Dean was also pissed. He was pissed at Sam being in the line of fire and also that Lucifer had fucked him up like he did in Hell. He couldn't help it. He noticed the change in Sam, sitting here, since they had been in the presence of that asshole again. 

As Sam's brother and now as his lover, Dean felt his fury rising every time he tried to guess at the torment his Sammy had undergone in the presence of that bastard. As Dean was watching him, Sam looked up and noticed Dean's observation. He sighed and instead of looking away shyly, the younger man maintained eye contact and knew he needed to come clean with the pent up feelings he was harboring about Lucifer. When Sam maintained eye contact and didn't do his adorable shy thing, Dean knew he was seriously about disclose something. Dean had a feeling he was going to be pissed.  
Sam felt that his past with Lucifer was going to come between them, or compromise their safety, 'if' he failed to share it. He leaned forward on his elbows and made the decision to throw it all out there. "Lucifer fucked with me," Sam said in a serious manner. Dean's stare intensified and he angrily furrowed his brow as he knew he was about to hear even more shit that he wasn't gonna like. "A long time ago....he fucked with me and...." Dean interrupted as Sam was in a pause, "In the cage? Recently?" Sam shook his head and then he did look down in order to gather his thoughts.."I mean, yeah, in the cage recently, but that's not what I'm talking about," Sam said and he sighed again. "Sam, what," Dean was intent on getting to the bottom of this, "What the fuck did he do?" Dean knew he wasn't gonna like this, but he couldn't look away until he heard what had happened to this incredible man that he loved so much. 

Dean knew what Hell was like. He knew the possibilities of torture, blood and guts, and even rape. He tried never to go there because thoughts of Sam in that place just twisted his gut.  
Sam sighed and looked up at Dean with his eyes filled with angst and regret and shame, "He pretended to be you." Sam looked down again to get more courage, then looked up at Dean again. "He tricked me, Dean." Dean looked confused while trying to follow Sam's confession. At Sam's words, he began to feel his gut twist, but he remained patient in order to give Sam the support he needed to get this out. The older man had a horrible realization that he was going to interrupt his little brother's confession by puking all over their clean table because he felt knots building in his gut. 

Sam covered his face for a second with his hand and then pushed his hair back, opening up his view to Dean. He wasn't looking at Dean now and this had Dean leaning forward across the table because even though he didn't want to hear it, his brother needed to say it. Sam said, "When I recently went to the cage without you, it was...it was terrifying to see him and..." Sam trailed off at first, but then continued, "I thought maybe it was gonna work as we planned and then I saw him and just.." Sam sighed heavily and covered his face with both hands for a few seconds. He breathed deeply and used both hands to push his hair back before looking back at Dean. The older brother was intently watching him, knowing this was extremely hard for Sam. He offered, "Sam whatever it is, the fucker is screwed...I got the feeling Amara is gonna fuck him up. I wish it was me kicking the shit out of him." 

Sam frustratingly blurted out, "I know that, Dean, but...I just needed to tell you. I mean....it's different now with....with you and me and it feels different. I can tell you, but it's...it's humiliating and I put myself into a situation that gave Lucifer an advantage and..." Dean was 'not' following Sam but he knew his little brother was struggling to get this out. Sam's eyes were filling with unshed emotion as Dean watched him turn from the ruthless confident hunter he had been in the last two hours to a distraught and anguished victim. 'What the fuck is he trying to say here,' Dean thought as he watched Sam unfold with something he had been hiding, obviously since his original time in Hell. 

Sam was nervous around Lucifer, and it wasn't just because of his strength and even because of his archangel powers...he needed to get past this so it didn't jeopardize their safety next time Lucifer might be around. "Dean, I was there so long...and it was just endless." Dean's eyes began to match Sam's, filling with wetness because his little brother had been suffering and he couldn't get to him. He knew how long it had been because he'd been trying hard to go on without him. But for Sam, it had been even longer, quadrupled and fucking torturous misery.  
"I know it's over and I know it's in the past, but...it just feels so fresh and I'm ashamed all over again." Sam's confession was still confusing Dean, but he could see the despair in his baby bro's eyes so he encouraged him to get this out, "Sam, tell me." 

Sam told Dean the story of the times he had been tricked by Lucifer. He told him of all the advances, when he was whole, brought back to perfect health after being skinned and stabbed and everything else. He told him about all the times he had been able to refuse his trickery that Dean had rescued him, and how he would figure out it wasn't real and piss Lucifer off by again refusing to play. Sam had to avoid eye contact for much of it and take a few breaths in between some of his confession. Dean was so god dammed angry inside but he said nothing. That fucking son of a bitch had twisted his little brother's mind. 

He listened to one convincing time, where Sam had been so desperate to believe that Dean had come for him...how his feelings had been revealed because Sam had been so weak, and how Lucifer had a new way to play with him because of it. Then he listened to the other time...the one that truly plagued Sam...the important one that had changed his poor brother and caused this shame and grief to stay with him all this time. Sam paused and took a few breaths before he could tell Dean the last part. 

The younger man's expression filled eyes let go of the tears which had been building up, as he finally had to tell Dean the rest of it, and he didn't want to, but he did, "I thought it was you...and...and I let it happen...and..." Dean watched his brother lose his composure, the younger man damning himself for being weak and for letting Lucifer trick him 'one' horrible humiliating time, which had plagued him ever since. 'Jesus Christ, that fucking son of a bitch,' Dean thought. 'Why does this shit always happen to Sam," Dean was so fucking pissed on his brother's behalf. The kid had been taking punches since he was six months old. He had sacrificed himself to save the world and to save Dean and was a fucking hero. His brother had been abused and tortured, but this was...this was...fuck, he didn't know how anyone could have survived and beaten this like Sam had. Sam didn't believe he had, but Dean believed it. 

Sam was overwhelmingly guilty and ashamed, Dean could see that. His baby brother was made to feel this way from that fucking asshole. Dean sighed sooooo fucking pissed, as his love and protective instinct over this man wanted to kill every fucking evil thing that had 'ever' touched or threatened to touch his beautiful brother. Sam was still looking down, trying to finish his confession to Dean, but unable to face him. "I fucking just...it was...it felt so...because it was YOU, not him and....FUCK, Dean...I couldn't stop..." Sam released an uncontrollable sob, "and I," he looked up at Dean, "I came," then he looked down with another sob, continuing, "and then he changed and I...I was done...I realized you weren't there and it had been him the whole time and I wanted to die over and over and he wouldn't let me..." Sam let out another heartwrenching sob, "I wanted to die and he wouldn't let me." 

Sam wiped his face with his hand and tried to stop the tears and regain his composure. Dean's eyes were filled with unshed tears from witnessing his brother's anguish. The older man sighed and wiped his own face with his hand, readjusting himself on his elbows. He shut his eyes briefly, trying to control his inclination to scream and break furniture, then opened them again and focused on Sam. Dean leaned over and looked closely at Sam, searching his heart for how to proceed. This was something that Dean had certainly been through in his time with Alistair, and he had finally given in and saved his own skin from further torture by crawling off that rack and inflicting pain on others.  
He knew what Sam was going through...'except,' Dean thought, 'except the part about me.' He couldn't believe Sam had held this in all this time. 'Jesus fucking Christ,' Dean repeated in his brain over and over again, as he tried to absorb what his brother was telling him. Of course, the guilt at not being with Sam on his recent trip to the cage intensified now. Dean was so done with letting Sam 'ever' be alone again. This kid deserved loving and kindness for the rest of his entire being, and 'nothing' else. How was he 'ever' going to rid Sam of this torment that had been inflicted?

After the pause, Sam tried to control his emotions as he had at least gotten that worst part out. He added further, "In the cage, when he had you up against the bars, I knew I had to say 'yes'. He would have snapped your neck like he'd done a hundred times before while I had to watch...and he knew that I would have to agree. But he probably would have killed you even if I agreed and that's the only reason I hesitated." Dean understood, completely, because he was all about saving his brother, even if it meant sacrificing himself. "Dean, I would have said 'yes' to save you." Dean grabbed Sam's arm at that point and squeezed it, "I know, Sam, I know." He could see Sam was not recovered from this and he knew the kid needed help working through this. 

"Little brother, listen to me...we both know that we are each other's achilles' heels here. We both feel this way and we both go out of our way to save the other and sacrifice. That's how we feel, Sam...it's how we love each other and we can recite the rule book over and over again and talk outta our asses about how the world matters more than just the two of us and we can't keep making these choices, but ya know? In the end, we always gotta kick ass to save the other. It's who we are..." Dean made sure Sam was looking up at him before he finished. "Sam, look at me," the older man waited for Sam to look up at him, "Sam...you did nothing wrong. In fact, you held out longer than anyone else ever could and Sam....you thought it was me." Dean touched Sam's face then with his free hand, rubbing the younger man's cheek in comfort. "You believed it was me. Sammy, I'm so so damn sorry. I wish with every fiber of my bones that it had been me. And I am so god dammed sorry that I didn't get you out of there." 

Sam took Dean's hand between both of his, squeezing it tight, apparently not done berating himself, "I should have 'never' let him see that side of..." Dean interrupted, as he moved the hand that had been on Sam's cheek to grip his face and hold it firm, so he would have to look at Dean, "Sam, it's fucking Hell and NO ONE out stands it and NO ONE out stands Lucifer AND...AAAANNNND...NO ONE is as strong as you are. Fuck him cuz you know what?" And Sam looked at his brother with some newfound hope in his eyes waiting. "He can't touch us. Sammy, he cannot touch what we have. He never could. And YOU are with ME...the REAL me, who 'loves' you and he doesn't get you. Fuck him and his goddamn games, Sammy, that's all gone." 

Dean was determined to get Sam to stop beating himself up about this because for Chrissakes it was Hell and no one can beat what happens in Hell. 'Poor kid,' Dean felt terrible, as he released his tight grip on the kid's face and held his cheek gently again. The kid had been in love with him for years and had hidden it. Lucifer had forced it out of him. 'Jesus Christ, the damage,' Dean's thumb was rubbing back and forth on his brother's cheek, as he thought about Sam's suffering. His pillar of respect and pride in Sam raised up another notch as he processed even more of the crap that his brother had been holding inside. 

Dean's thoughts went from comforting and supporting Sam to another memory he had because he wanted to help Sam over this so badly, 'Hmmmm...you can replace shitty experiences with happy ones and totally almost erase the unwanted memory.' They had learned that from their Dad's intense training growing up, because he wanted them to be skilled in recovery, not just the physical, but of the emotional too, in case they'd ever been mind-fucked by a demon or some other entity. 'This was certainly the entity of all entities,' Dean decided. He remembered that traumatic experiences can be rewritten, so to speak, if you think of ways to re-record over them. He wasn't a psychiatric expert but he certainly had some field experience. 

Dean began to think of replacement situations he would truly enjoy doing to Sam and suddenly it came to him. He smiled as he envisioned what he was gonna do to Sam, and how much fun he would have exploring his beautiful body. 'The problem might be Sam, though,' Dean speculated, as he watched his little brother try and calm himself from his earlier traumatic confession. He was beginning to relax but he was slightly confused when Dean smiled. 'It almost looks seductive,' Sam wondered. Dean squeezed Sam's hand and let go, backing away. He then stood up and came around the table to face Sam. As the younger man looked up, Dean bent over and touched his hand to Sammy's cheek again. He looked into his brother's soulful and trusting eyes and told him, "Sam, go into your room and lay on the bed, okay?" At Sam's hesitation and surprise, he repeated with assurance. "Sam. Go. Give me two minutes and I'll be in there to try something out." 

Sam, always the analyzer and arguer of all things, remained where he was with a confused look, but all he brilliantly could think to blurt out was, "Huh?" And that's where Dean proceeded to pull him up by his elbows and when Sam was standing up, he placed both hands on either side of Sam's face and tried to be more clear, "Sam...bedroom, lay down and relax. I've got something in mind to help you get rid of the memory of what that dickweed put you through...so...I need you to do what I'm saying, for once.Trust me, Sam." After a few more second's hesitation, Sam came to the conclusion that he totally trusted Dean and he needed to shut up and just go. "Okay," Sam responded, and he finally went to do as Dean said, thought he wasn't really sure why he was doing it.

Dean went around and shut off the lights, then stopped off in his room to dump off his jeans and t-shirt. The entire time, he was visualizing the things he was going to do to get Sam to the point of total bliss. 'The problem is he's totally fuckin' hot, and it's gonna be a trick to not cum all over the poor kid while I'm trying to do this to him.' Dean entered Sam's room wearing only his boxers and socks. He sat a bottle of lotion on the bed, propping it up on the pillow that wasn't being used by Sam. His brother had laid on the bed, as instructed, hands folded across his chest. He was trying to look relaxed, like Dean told him to do. 'He doesn't look relaxed,' Dean noted, 'but we'll fix that.' He told Sam, "For this to work, I want to get rid of the shirt and pants." 

Dean let that sink in and waited for an argument before he moved in to make sure he didn't shock the kid into shutting down. Dean reached for Sam's t-shirt and Sam willingly opened his arms and raised up so Dean could pull the thing off. 'So far, so good,' the older man thought. Dean was amazed again at getting to look at his brother as a lover would. Sam was so incredibly beautiful. 'Jesus, his chest and abdomen are perfect just like his face, and his fucking Fabio hair, and his fucking...' "Dean!" Dean looked up at that, realizing that Sam had been trying to get his attention for a few seconds as he'd been lost in thought looking at the beauty that was Sam. "Sorry," Dean told him. Sam grinned sideways at that, wondering where Dean's mind had been but totally looking forward to what his brother was going to do next.  
Dean pulled off Sam's thin sweats, leaving on his boxers. As he dropped the pants on the floor, he crawled up next to Sam on his knees rubbed his hand over Sam's stomach. The stitches had mostly loosened up and fallen out. He was amazed at the wound looking so healthy and had to remind himself that there was more damage on the inside that could still be raw. Dean was going to be the caretaker here, fully pleasuring his brother and taking him to new heights. He had 'never' felt this giving before in his life. He was so used to just getting his rocks off with people and moving on. 'This'..was a new adventure. He was in love with this man and every single moment was going to mean something totally different. This was Sam and it was going to be an incredible journey learning what makes him melt...'or scream,' Dean's nasty mind added. This isn't something he would 'ever' do with another guy, but this was his Sam...his every being...and he couldn't 'wait' to get started. 

"Sammy, roll over." The younger man did not argue and rolled himself over onto his stomach, Dean's hands remaining on his smooth skin so they slid with him and wound up on Sam's back. Sam was leaning he cherished Dean's hands on him. He was never going to get enough of this. Dean rubbed his hands around in large swoops, feeling Sam's incredible muscle tone and smooth skin. The kid had not an ounce of fat on him, and it looked to Dean like he was at least getting some of his muscle back from his time he had been looking for his brother and trying to save him. He didn't want Sam interfering with what he was about to do and wanted him to just lay there and experience being taken care of...in 'every' sense. Dean knew that getting Sam to actually 'do' that was going to be quite the challenge. His hyper and stubborn little brother was 'not' going to be comfortable with just laying there an receiving unless he distracted him. 

Dean knew how responsive, open and expressive Sam was about new experiences, so he decided he would start with a massage. Sam wouldn't see that coming. Dean had done this with a couple chicks in the past, and he thought he was pretty good at it, but it wasn't something either of the brothers had 'ever' done on each other. Again, Sam wouldn't see it coming.

Dean wanted to feel Sam's reaction and emit as much warmth and love into his touch as he possibly could. He took deep breaths and mentally pushed his feelings for his brother out to his hands and arms. This would be coming from his heart and going to the most important person in his world. 'Feel me,' Dean sent the silent message to his brother. Sam seemed to be patiently waiting, perhaps trying to guess at what Dean was going to do. Dean grabbed some lotion and put an abundant amount on each palm. He held his palms together in order to heat up the lotion and not shock his younger charge with the cold. 'Here goes,' Dean thought, and he went for Sam's shoulders. 

Sam was expecting something, but not this. By this, meaning he jerked slightly when Dean surprised him by touching his shoulders with warm wet hands. At first, for a fraction of a second, Sam's natural resistance started to surface and ask, 'what the hell are you doing,' but then, "Uuuhhhhh....uuuuuhhhh...oh my God....uuuhhh," Sam lost all coherent thought as Dean tightened his grip and began kneading Sam's tight shoulders. Sam instantly melted and loudly moaned his pleasure, as his initial intention to turn and look at Dean was a lost thought. He melted heavily into the pillow, as his tense muscles turned to jelly. Every time Dean kneaded into a new spot, Sam moaned his pleasure in all different octaves, unable to control any of his blissful sounds as the onslaught of pleasure continued. "Oh God, Dean...oh my God." Dean was pleased beyond belief to be doing this for Sam. He was smiling at Sam's wonderful reaction to all that he was doing. Dean was definitely overdue in discovering this unique way to floor his brother and distract him. He would remember this in the future when Sam was arguing with him or being stubborn. 'This is incredible,' Dean thought. His brother was turning to a puddle of goo and totally under his power. Dean moved his hands all over Sam's shoulders, massaging all the tension out, feeling the hard knots give away. He then headed for Sam's neck, and felt the tightness and stress he held there. Dean pushed his thumbs into the top of Sam's spine, right at the T7 disc, then slid them outward before he laid into Sam's tension with the same kneading and rubbing. Sam reacted loudly to the new feelings with heavenly sounding moans and sighs. Dean had completely worked his shoulders and now was attacking his neck. He thought he was about to die of pleasure. No one had 'ever' done this to him. He couldn't stop moaning. "Uuuuuuhhhhhhh....oooooohhhh....oooohh, God Dean.....oh my God, that feels sooooo good, oh my God." Dean kept smiling to himself as he really wished he had this recorded. He 'loved' doing this to Sam, he realized. 'This is incredible,' Dean thought, 'one of my new favorites.' He had never seen Sam so compliant before, 'except under the pain meds,' Dean thought and chuckled softly. He couldn't stop grinning at how this joyful experience was affecting him. 

Dean applied more lotion to his hands and held them together for warmth before continuing on with Sam's massage. Even though he needed to stop for half a minute for the lotion, Sam did not move. Dean realized he had successfully taken his brother to another plane of existence. The younger man had no defenses. Sam wasn't moving. He was in absolute bliss and totally unable to move. Dean went for the entire back now, rubbing and kneading all the knotted and tense muscles he could feel. He was lost in the sensation of feeling all of Sam's joints, muscles, tendons and bones, as he worked his way around Sam's beautiful body. Sam wasn't the only one lost in this, Dean was lost too with the pleasure of what he was doing to Sam. 

Dean made sure he spent extra time on Sam's lower back since it had probably been compensating for the abdomen injury by tightening up more than usual. After that, he continued on down each one of Sam's long legs with the same motions. Sam was still sighing and moaning, though more softly now. "Ooooohhhh, yes," was all he could muster. Dean thought he might be putting the kid to sleep with all this, but was hoping he could finish the second part of his pleasure assault before that happened. He wasn't done yet. When Dean reached the lower back again, he began sliding his big open hands toward Sam's butt, up and down, with each stroke coming closer to his cheeks and back. The younger man was in such rapture, he couldn't have moved if he wanted to. Dean proceeded to knead and rub completely over his butt cheeks, hips and lower back. Sam was lost. The muscles in that area had 'never' been touched this way and certainly never had their tension worked out of them. 'Jesus Christ, that feels good,' Sam was thinking but too limited in his vocal abilities to voice. He still could do nothing but moan and hoped that Dean was getting the message that this was the most incredible thing anyone had ever done for him and it felt so goddamn good. 

Dean had moved his hot slippery hands under Sam's boxers in order to achieve the pleasurable assault on his gluteus muscles. This was the ultimate feeling to have someone love him this much and bring him so much pleasure. Sam's ability to think or move was still temporarily suspended. He had a thought that he would be utterly useless if something were to break in at attack them right now. 

Dean gently kneaded his hands back upward toward Sam's back, as he scooted on his knees to reach that part of him better. Dean slid his hands under Sam's chest to assist the rubbery and boneless man below him in turning over. He said nothing and simply lifted and guided him. Sam went with it and didn't even hesitate or argue. He was completely surrendered to Dean. He eyes never opened and his hands fell loosely to either side of his face, elbows bent. Sam had a dreamy look on his face. He was completely open to him and very relaxed. It made Dean smile all over again to deal with a compliant and relaxed Sam. He took a moment to rub Sam's chest and stomach with his heated up slick hands and enjoy the view of his little brother like this. He noticed Sam was rubbing his head on the pillow like a cat being petted. He was releasing these little sighs of pleasure and Dean was thoroughly enjoying seeing it. 

Dean was ready to really blow Sam's mind and try out some of his incredible dirty thoughts he'd been having. He thought if there was any time when he was gonna be able to get Sam to just lie there and 'take it', this would be it. Sam was as relaxed and distracted as he was possibly going to get. Dean tried to ground his thoughts before commencing, 'This is new for me but it's Sammy,' Dean thought, 'and I can't stop thinking about it. Aside from my fantasies, this has to completely erase the nasty shit Sam went through with Lucifer.' Dean tried to visualize what would feel really good and how he rubbed himself when he jacked off, how he had been blown before by women, and how he really wanted to be in tune with Sam's reactions in order to hit all Sam's pleasure buttons. Dean decided he needed to make this fucking incredible. The massage was a great start, now he had to finish it big. 'Here we go,' Dean thought. 

Sam was floating on a cloud of bliss. He could sense Dean was near and knew his brother was moving to cover him with his body. He had trouble moving because of the incredible massage that he had just received. Jessica was very sweet and used to use massages on Sam's shoulders after a big test day in college. He thought 'that' was good but 'this'...Jesus, Sam was lost in sensation with Dean's touch. He had never felt anything like someone with a grip that strong working all the kinks out of his whole body. Sam was in the middle of total relaxed bliss, floating on clouds, when he began to feel something that instantly touched him within. He felt something he never dreamed he would feel. Dean began kissing his face softly. He kissed Sam's closed eyelids and kissed all over his face...light, soft and loving kisses, skipping his mouth for now. Dean moved over to Sam's ear, and proceeded to swipe it with his tongue. Sam inhaled sharply, "Oooh," was all he could muster up at that moment. Dean spent time on Sam's ear, especially after he received a reaction so encouraging from the younger man. His tongue was hot and wet and it obviously sent goosebumps over Sam's skin, which Dean could feel. 

Dean decided he enjoyed the Hell out of licking and sucking Sam's ear and he couldn't wait to do the same to the younger man's nipples and 'other' parts. He spent time on that ear and then licked and kissed his way over to the other ear. Sam was responding incredibly, moaning and encouraging Dean with his very vocal approval. Dean didn't want to lose those sounds. He became addicted to them, deciding they were going to be his favorite thing to listen to. He might even put those sounds on a blank tape and play them in the Impala. For now, he really wanted to continue his oral fixation on more of Sammy's parts. He lowered his body down a bit and continued sucking on Sam's neck and chest. Dean couldn't remember tasting anything that good except when he kissed his brother, of course. He continued to kiss and gently suck the skin around Sam's collar bone and then decided to head for younger man's nipples. He remembered how Sam had reacted when he sucked on those nipples before in their first encounter up against the wall. He really wanted to get that reaction again. 

Dean backed his mouth off Sam for a minute and sat up so he could rub his hands all over Sam's now saliva covered chest and neck. Sam took that second to open his eyes and look up at Dean and the older brother was lost for a few seconds in the depth of Sam's incredible gaze. Dean could read the complete and utter abandon and trust coming from Sam. He was having the exact affect he wanted on this man. Dean lowered his face and kissed Sam with all the love and devotion he was feeling. Sam responded aggressive passion. It was hot. Their tongues took the opportunity to join together in complete harmony, licking and sucking and sliding over every reachable part inside their mouths. The kiss was much longer than Dean had intended, but this is the way it was with Sam. Each time they melded like this, there was nothing else. 

Chapter Three 

Dean pulled up from kissing Sam and he looked at him, not being able to resist pushing the hair back from his eyes with his hand. They were breathing heavy and even with the relaxed atmosphere, temperatures were rising in both men. Sam's irises were dilated and he was focusing on Dean with great desire. This had the older brother responding and he knew Sam could feel the steel redwood tree laying against his gut. "Sammy." He continued to rub Sam's cheek, like he couldn't bring himself to let go. Sam was thoroughly buzzing from all the things Dean had been doing to him. His dick was hard and he could feel Dean's was too. He opened his legs to either side of Dean, curling his legs around Dean's and resting them there. He wanted to push up and rub his aching cock against Dean's but he wasn't quite sure of himself in this area yet. He wasn't yet sure where this was leading and he was willing to wait for Dean to show him. 

Sam rubbed his hands up and down Dean's arms, then slid them up Dean's back toward the back of his neck. Dean realized Sam was going to pull him back down for another kiss and as much as he loved kissing Sam, he was too hard and that, alone, would probably have him rutting against Sam and end this evening; he wouldn't be able to stop if they started grinding against each other. 'Fuck,' he thought, as he pushed down with difficulty to bring his mouth level with Sam's nipples, completely avoiding Sam's intention to pull him into a kiss. He looked up at Sam, who was still holding the back of his neck and had moved his hands up into Dean's short hair. Sam was looking at him with interest but not quite sure of Dean's intent. "I want to do this so bad," Dean told him. Sam asked, "What," lovingly confused. And Dean took that moment to put his mouth on Sam's left nipple. Sam immediately threw his head back and moaned, "oooohhh," which was about all he could coherently do. 

"Oh my God," Sam panted and moaned as Dean licked and sucked and then tried something, barely biting down on the hard nub. Sam's voice raised up an octave, "Oooh....ooohh, God, yes." Dean continued to bite and suck thoroughly enjoying himself, then he repeated the same treatment to the right side. Sam was incredible and Dean couldn't get enough of the taste and reactions of his brother. Sam's hands were mindlessly kneading and rubbing the back of Dean's head, trying to get a grip on his short hairs. The kid was lost in arousal and sensation. Dean could feel his brother's hips grinding against him, the blatant hardness of his dick trying to break through his boxers. 'I better get moving,' Dean thought to himself, 'or this will be over in another way very soon.' His baby brother writhed and gyrated in arousal, totally turned on from Dean's actions. Sam couldn't stop moaning and pushing his dick upward, he was so fucking hot. 

The younger man wanted to get up and do this to Dean, but his brother just wouldn't let up. Sam had no resistance but to lay there and be taken higher than he knew he could go. He felt like he was gonna combust, as Dean took a few more sucks and nibbles on Sam's nipples before lowering himself further down Sam's body. He sucked, kissed and licked his way downward, and Sam's hips were pushing up out of his control. "Dean," Sam was breathing heavily now and loudly showing his anticipation at where Dean might be headed. His hips wouldn't stop moving and his dick was throbbing with it's own mind and Sam was afraid he was going to cum from just this. "God...Dean..I..." Sam didn't quite know what he was trying to say; he just knew he was anxious about something and this was moving toward something that was gonna blow his socks off but at the same time it terrified him. Dean moved back up to Sam's face, after hearing something about the tone of his voice that sounded like the edge of panic. "Baby, it's me....you and me." Dean looked at Sam intently and the younger man smiled at the fact that Dean had understood without words exactly what Sam needed in that second. "Now...now, let me show you what it feels like to be sucked to the wind by someone who loves you more than life." Sam tried to believe this was happening, for real. In that second, he was breathing hard and hanging on tightly to Dean's short hairs, his dick rock hard and he body so turned on he desperately wanted to continue. He released a frustrated laugh, but the worry and anxiety in his eyes was trying to fight him letting go. Dean could see the fear in there too and he was pissed and determined to get rid of it. "You and me, Sam. This involves no one else. It's you and me." 

Dean could still see the trepidation in Sam's eyes. He knew Sam was trying hard to let go like Dean wanted, but fighting himself and afraid. He'd been tricked before, and hurt and abused, but not anymore. This is what Dean wanted to fix. His Sammy hadn't experienced someone loving him like this, openly giving and not expecting anything in return. This was new for Sam and he didn't know how to take it. 'Well fix that,' Dean thought. 

"I'm going to do something I've wanted to do for a long time....and I want you to just enjoy it." He let that sink in. "But, Dean..." Sam started to argue, so Dean interrupted, "Sam, it's gonna be good...fucking fantastic, okay? But you have to let it happen...just let it happen." Dean waited a second before using his command voice on his little brother, "Sam." Sam was still breathing heavily, obviously horny as hell but still mentally sparring between his brother's words and his own humiliating memories. Dean lowered his mouth and prominently shut his brother's thoughts off with a full on open mouthed kiss. He led his brother with his tongue and nibbled on his lips as he kept softly kissing him over and over, in between licking and sucking Sam's lips and tongue. Dean tried to convey the intense feelings he had for his brother through everything he was doing and Sam responded. When Dean pulled back up and looked into Sam's eyes, he saw dreamy renewed passion. None of the fear and anxiety remained that had been there a moment ago. "Relax," Dean ordered. And he lowered down his face to Sam's boxers. 

"Oh my God," Sam panted and tried to speak, "Dean, fuck, seriously?" Sam's hips were pushing up just anticipating Dean's next move. Dean smiled at Sam's inability to control his anticipation. Sam's dick was definitely begging to be sucked. Dean was going to be sucking the hell out of it and loving every minute. 'Here goes. Remember, Dean, put yourself in his shoes and do what would feel incredible if it were you.' Dean had 'never' dreamed he would be doing this to a guy but again this was Sam...and when it came to Sam, well...he wasn't just a guy. He was 'his Sam' and it was different. That was his last thought as he peeled the boxers off of Sam and pulled them down. He pulled them all the way off and pushed Sam's legs open to give himself room to get between them. Sam slammed his hands down onto the bed and gripped the sheets. He couldn't fucking believe this. He was breathing so fast and hard just knowing what Dean was going to do. Dean hadn't even touched him yet, but Sam was breathing really hard now and his hips were gyrating, searching for any friction on his dick they could find. He was so hard and desperate, he was afraid he would cum if Dean so much as touched him. Dean could see this but he couldn't just rush in without staring at the beauty of Sam's cock. 'Jesus Christ, there is no part of him that isn't fucking incredible.' Dean sighed, wondering why one brother had to get all the prettiest parts.  
Dean maneuvered himself perfectly over Sam, between his legs and he supported his upper body on his elbows. He hovered his face over Sam's beautiful cock and saw the pre-come there. Sam was totally turned on and at the way he was responding and gyrating, Dean realized he was too turned on to delay things any further. "Jesus, Dean," his brother said and that had Dean looking up at Sam's face. His little brother had risen up on his elbows and was watching so he thought this would be the perfect opportunity to take his first taste. He maintained eye contact with his little brother and licked his dick. He licked slowly, all the way from the bottom to the tip. "Ooooohhhhh....oh my God, Dean." Sam was definitely approving of this. As Dean finished his first ever lick, he repeated with another one. "Oooooohh.....ooohhh....oh, Dean." 

Dean decided this would never get old if he could get these reactions from Sam. He proceeded to lick his Sammy's cock up and down, getting the full taste and feel of all the smooth texture. Sam's dick was pulsing and twitching and even more pre-come was released as a result of Dean's repeated licks. Sam was moaning and completely swept away in sensation, gyrating his pelvis and gripping the sheets tighter. Dean lowered his mouth to Sam's full sack, which was also beautiful, and started to lick his balls. Sam had never any 'anyone' lick him and he was fucking on fire. It felt like Dean was trying to taste every centimeter of his most secret and private parts. "Ooohh....oooh, Dean," Sam felt like he was gonna cum. It was getting too much. He was too fucking hot...he couldn't stop it. 'Oh my God, what Dean's doing,' Sam thought, 'I'm gonna cum,' Sam's moaning and grunts seemed to be rising in pitch and with the pace of his hips speeding up, Dean got the message that he was going to blow his load within seconds if he didn't take a break. 

Dean backed off and rubbed Sam's hips and upper thighs for a minute, getting Sam to recede back down off that fast approach to the top. Sam sighed in frustration but lowered back onto the bed and tried to control his breathing. Dean kissed him all over his stomach and thighs, avoiding his sensitive dick for a minute. He realized his own dick had been grinding itself against the bed, looking for friction and he definitely had his own amount of pre-come in his shorts. He accepted the fact that he was probably not going to be able to keep from cumming during all this, as that was what it was like being close to Sam. 'Just the way it is,' Dean thought, 'figures...he's so fucking hot I'm going to cum from sucking 'his' dick...won't even need to 'touch' mine. It was fact that he could make Sam feel this good and get the reaction he'd gotten from what he'd done so far was throwing him toward the edge. 

When Sam's breathing slowed a bit and he seemed farther from the edge of orgasm, Dean decided to continue getting down to business. He was so into this, he couldn't wait to taste more of his brother. Again, Dean had 'never' thought of tasting guys, but 'this'...this was Sam and it tasted better than pie. Sam was whimpering high pitched little sounds, knowing Dean was getting ready to continue. Dean realized he could not 'wait' to hear and see Sam's abandoned control as he blew his brain cells. The only regret would be if he couldn't see Sam's face as he lost it. Dean would never get that first time out of his mind, up against the wall like that and watching Sam's face as he came. He didn't think there was anything that incredible but to see that and to know he could take his brother to that point. 'I'm sooo gonna blow his mind, Dean thought, 'He deserves to just feel, for once, and all good things, no bad, no shit, just ultimate pleasure. You are my project tonight, Sammy Boy.' He looked up at his brother and saw that Sam had looked up at him and was looking at him with renewed worry and a tiny bit of fear in his eyes. Dean thought, 'Uh uh, not goin there, Sammy, that fuckin shit is goin away,' and with that Dean lifted Sam's cock upright and positioned himself right over it.  
Sam grabbed the bedding and renewed his tight grip with a vengeance right before Dean touched him and he panted at the top of his lungs. The younger man already knew this was going to feel so goddamned good he wouldn't be able to stand it...nor would he be able to control himself. Dean's mouth slid over Sam's dick, eyes on Sam face, and he saw his little brother's face as he lost it. "Oooooohhhh," Sammy screamed, his head falling back, as he loudly moaned uncontrollably, "Aaaaah....oh....oh God...oooh." Sam was making sounds Dean had never heard him make and rolling his head back and forth on the pillow. 

Dean knew how goddamned good that felt by Sam's reaction and he was extremely proud that he could do this for him. Dean. Dean continued to slide his hot wet mouth down Sammy's rock hard cock and the younger man was moaning loudly and rising in pitch. This encouraged Dean to keep going further so he began sliding up and down his little brother's impressively rock hard cock. He tasted more pre-come coming from the slit, as he took his brother to new heights. Dean slid up to suck on the head, then sucked more as he was sliding down, in order to provide more sensation. He was really enjoying this, loving every second, totally into the taste and feel of Sam's dick and reveling in the younger man's responses. He tested out how far he could go without triggering his gag reflexes, tried out tightening his lips and softening them up, relaxed his throat and then sucked hard, just to experiment different techniques. Meanwhile, Sam was  
moaning, jerking and grinding upward, screaming out "Oh my God, Dean's", telling him he was getting it all right. Dean decided this was gonna be one of his most favorite things to do in line from now on, as he worked his way up and down Sam's sensitive shaft. 

Sam's hips were pumping up toward Dean's mouth on every stroke, his hands were clenching and unclenching, balling up the sheets and pulling on them. His head raised to try and look at what his brother was doing but he couldn't maintain it for even a second as the suction on his dick had him slamming his head back and turning side to side. It's as if he had way too much pleasure all at once and his body couldn't decide which way to move. He was on fire and the pressure was so intense, he felt like he wasn't going to live through this. Sam was so considerate and conscientious, he tried to hold himself at bay and not be too rough with his incredibly giving brother who was sucking the hell out of his dick. He was trying so hard to hold back and not fuck Dean's mouth, knowing Dean didn't deserve to be gagged or have his first time doing this be a bad experience. 'God I can't believe this...fuck...oh fuck,' Sam realized he couldn't hold it and he was spiraling toward orgasm again. 'Oh God, it's good,' He was gonna cum...and fast. "Oh God...oh God, Dean, I can't...Oh my God, Dean...I...Oh my God, fuck," Sam couldn't finish his sentence. Dean knew what Sam was trying to warn him. He could feel the intensity and straining of all the kid's muscles and especially his spasming dick. Dean pushed down on Sam's beautiful hip bones, in order to keep from getting a dislocated jaw. Sam was moaning loudly now, pushing up hard against Dean's hold on him. Sam was about to cum, and his dick was filling up with that last second rigid swell, ready to shoot it's load...but Dean felt it pause...something kept him stuck for just a second, right on that precipice...was it doubt, insecurity, fear in a matter of milliseconds had interrupted Sam falling over that edge. He was afraid. 'No...God, not now..' Sam let out a frustrated sob because he knew why he couldn't release and his orgasm was RIGHT THERE, but FUCK. 

As Sam was pushing against his strong grip, Dean's hips had been pumping their own rhythm into the bed. He was close and no one had even touched his dick. Right at the explosive second when he expected Sam to give a last push and scream in pleasure, his little brother's breath hitched and Dean heard his frustrated painful sob. Dean immediately looked up at Sam's face and saw the tormented frustration in his baby brother's eyes. Sam was at the edge and he needed to cum...'bad'. He needed release and he couldn't jump off that cliff because something was holding him back.

Dean crawled up Sam's body fast. He placed his hand on Sam's head to hold him in position and kissed him. He kissed him forcefully, his tongue invading the kid's mouth. Dean's kiss was a total act of love, reassuring Sam that he was here with him and no one else was...it was really HIM and no one else and he was determined to push all those negative memories away. He backed off Sam and looked him in the eyes and made sure Sam understood, "I love you, Sammy," he said as he smoothed Sam's hair out of his eyes and rubbed his cheek. And with that he kissed Sam again. He pushed hard on Sam's incredible lips, sliding his tongue right past them and inside. Dean kissed him long, hot and wet. He shared Sam's incredible taste of himself from what he had just been doing. 

Sam was mesmerized and lost for the moment Dean's mouth. He had forgotten everything that had creeped into his mind a second ago. 'Oh my God, Dean...he is fucking everything.' Sam was still softly sighing and moaning into the kiss, absorbing the taste of Dean, and tasting himself 'on' Dean, as his brother backed off and went right back to Sam's desperate cock. 'It's him,' Sam told himself, 'It's him...yes,' Sam repeated like a mantra, 'I love him so much...oh, God, he knows just what to,' Sam didn't finish that thought in his head as Dean slid his hands lovingly all the way back down his brother's torso until he reached his hips again. He planted himself back into his new favorite position and sucked Sam's balls thoroughly, one and a time and then together. He wanted to associate 'him' with the words he had spoken and the kiss and what Sam was currently feeling. He wanted that connection imprinted in Sam's brain, so it would replace any doubts or guilt or evil bullshit memories what Sam had suffered. 

Dean licked his way back up to the head of Sam's rock hard leaking dick and didn't even have to lift it with his hand since it was standing up so tall. 'Poor thing is wondering why everyone stopped when he was about to blow his load,' Dean thought in sympathy. He'd lived with a dick all his life and he could certainly empathize with what it was like needing to release. Dean's mouth went right back to work and he could hear is brother's breath hitching and loudly panting above him. Sam was still gripping the sheets and proceeded to grunt and growl in deeper tones every time Dean's mouth slid up or down. Sam could barely catch his breath. This felt so god dammed good he lost control of his vocal abilities again. "Ooohh, God...Ooohh yesss...God...oh God," he kept repeating as his voice got louder and higher. 

Dean could feel the strain and tightening of Sam's hips, legs and abdomen. He knew nothing would stop the orgasm this time. "Dean!" Sam screamed loudly in warning, as Dean could feel the sporadic loss of rhythm in Sam's hips pushing upward. 'That's it, Sammy, let me have it,' Dean wanted to say but he couldn't with his mouth busy. He held strong as Sam's hips pushed up hard and Dean sucked harder just to make it feel that much better and, "DEAN!," was Sam's last attempt at warning him, which Dean didn't need since he felt Sam's dick and balls tense up to blow their load and Dean thought, 'YES, Sam,' but knew he was too fucking hot to stop 'himself' from being in the same boat, and then Sammy threw his head back and screamed, "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh," his body clenching hard as he was hit forcefully with the orgasm ripping through his body. He screamed as each new wave kept coming and it was so hard and so good and there was no defense but to jerk and spasm and scream in pleasure as every nerve ending was saturated by electric pulses of absolute ecstasy. 'Sam is so fucking hot,' was Dean's last coherent thought as he pushed his dick into the bedspread and came hard, growling around Sam's dick, squirting all over the bedding and pulsing in blissful pleasure. It felt so good and Dean was amazed he could cum just from pleasuring Sam. 'Fucking hot,' Dean thought. 

"Mmmmm......mmmmm....," Dean continued to grunt in deep growling sounds through his own waves of orgasmic bliss, as his mouth was still full of his brother's pulsing dick. He swallowed the tart and salty liquid, learning the taste of Sam's cum, keeping up the sucking pressure until Sam stopped jerking and spasm. The kid had risen a few inches off the bed when he tightened up, so as his orgasm subsided he plopped back down on the bed with a loud breath exhaled and then lay panting and trying to catch his breath. Sam was still moaning in pleasure between pants and practically hyperventilating. Dean recovered a bit so he could at least remember to gently pull his mouth off of Sam and he kissed the how softening member gently. Dean was in love with what he just did. He decided this was gonna be a regular occurrence, as he kissed lovingly around Sam's pelvis area and his abdomen and upper thighs. He couldn't get enough of Sam. He was delicious and addicting in every way. Dean was feeling the giddy euphoric post-orgasmic lack of muscle in his body but he needed to see his brother's face. 

Dean hoisted himself up on his hands so he could crawl back up his brother's body. He noticed he was a bit shaky from his own climax. 'Jesus,' he thought, as he forced his partially useless limbs to actually move. Crawling up Sam's body, he couldn't resist licking and kissing Sam's stomach and chest and neck. When he reached Sam's face, he kissed him gently all over his cheeks, forehead, nose, chin and on his closed eye lids. His brother was completely spent, still breathing hard, eyes closed, and completely at his mercy. Dean smiled at Sam's vulnerable state. Dean had accomplished his mission. Sam's face was an open display of innocent dreamlike wonder and blissful peace. He had cum hard, but even better, he had been in the hands of his lifeline, with Dean there to catch him and protect him and share everything with him. Sam had landed safely in the comfort of Dean's hold, with no trickery and no evil to intrude on the experience. That horrible time was 'over'.

Sam's breathing finally slowed down. With his whole body still thrumming with the experience, he struggled to gather any portion of a brain cell he might have left and open his eyes. Dean watched him recover and finally push his eyelids open. The older man could see the peace and love in Sammy's beautiful eyes. This was one of the rare occurrences when Sam was completely open to him and only him. Slight tears appeared in Sam's eyes as he smiled and sharply exhaled, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. He wanted to give Dean all the sensations he had just experienced, but he couldn't move. He couldn't close his eyes again or Dean might disappear, nor could he gather enough motor skills to speak. Sam was exhilarated, relaxed, excited and emotionally overwhelmed with the realization that he was loved that much. It was a new realization for him and he was finding himself pretty emotional over taking it all in. After seeing all this in his little brother's eyes, Dean had to kiss him all over again. His hand was touching Sam's cheek and forehead, wiping back the strands of stray hair there. He kissed around his face and then returned to his mouth. Sam sweetly moaned in high pitch little sighs as he responded to Dean's kiss. 

Dean thoroughly enjoyed this wet sloppy relaxed kiss that his brother was returning without 'any' coordination, at all, and realized he was moaning deep and appreciative little groans. Dean thought to himself that a post orgasm Sam was another one of the desirable traits to add to his mental list of adorable Sam mannerisms. After licking and sucking on Sam's tongue for another minute, Dean pulled back and looked at his brother again. Sam hadn't regained a full brain cell, yet, but was feeling like he might have a quarter of one. "Dean," Sam said with a slight sob. His eyes teared up but it was more a release of all the crap from the past that was over now. Dean was so beautiful and the two of them together made this 'home'. Sam was simply overcome with rare emotions. Dean continued to rub Sam's hair with his hand and he told Sam, "I've got you, Sam." 

His little brother seemed to finally come to terms with the fact that Dean was really here, this was really happening and they were really able to share their love for each other. Sam smiled that rare beautiful smile at Dean because he just couldn't 'not' smile. Dean smiled back and asked, "Are you as exhausted as I am?" "Uuhhh, yeaah....but Dean, what about you," Sam was not sure how he was going to move, but he really wanted to make Dean feel all the incredible sensations that he had just felt. Dean smiled again because Sam had slurred his words when he answered that question, "Don't worry about me, baby boy, I've got my own embarrassing mess to clean up down below." 

Sam looked at Dean with slight understanding and curiosity, "You mean...oh, really?" 'Still not firing on all cylinders,' Dean thought. Dean responded with, "Oh yeah....dude, you are way too hot and you drive me frickin crazy when you respond like you do." 'There goes the cutest shy blush and downward looking away thing 'ever',' Dean was thinking, as Sam slightly blushed and looked down at Dean's compliment. "Especially when you lose control like that," Dean kept on with a look of adoration, "and when you're just about to cum...and then you cum and it's all fuckin laid out there for ME, totally for ME...Fuck Sammy, I'm just...." Sam was really blushing now and Dean just couldn't get enough of watching him. "Well...let's just say it's burned into my mind right now so I can think about it all the time. Fuck, I'm gonna be picturing it when we're on a case." Dean decided to give Sam a break as his brother was 'really' uncomfortable with all this close attention right now. Dean smiled because his Sammy was too god dammed cute. He certainly wasn't the ruthless, deadly hunter right 'now'. 

The men slept in each other's arms that night. They enjoyed every last minute they had before hitting the laptop to search for more damage done by Amara. They responded to a town that had been plagued by a similar virus that the boys had faced back in the town where they originally found Amara; the same virus that had almost killed Sam. The hunters took off, totally back in professional mode, pushing their feelings aside in order to be safe and get the job done. They rushed to the aid of several people and tried their best to get them safe inside the police station. When the deadly fog creeped in through windows and ventilation, the brothers had to lock the survivors into a separate room, leaving themselves out to plug the holes. 

Dean was terrified for Sam, as some of the fog got to Sam and he fell to the floor choking. "SAMMY," the older man yelled out, as he ran to his brother's side. Sam was sure this was it for him. This virus felt stronger than the last one he had beaten. He knew this wasn't gonna pan out this time. Sam leaned back, feeling like shit and knowing this just might be the end. He begged Dean to get out and save himself, but his brother was having none of it. Dean adamantly told Sam, "I am not leave you, 'ever'," and laid comforting hands on Sam 'willing' him to not die. He couldn't stand it, feeling this helpless. 'God no, not this, not now...please,' Dean begged in his mind, as he watched his brother in pain. He would gladly take his place to save him. 

When Dean thought Sam was about to stop breathing, he shouted up into the air, hoping Amara or God or any angel out there could hear him, "STOP THIS!". The older man was still holding onto Sam, as something made him look down to see a sudden glowing light coming from his little brother's pocket. Sam must have felt the compulsion too, because in the middle of his body shutting down, he put his hand into his pocket and removed the glowing amulet. It was the special necklace with the amulet that had signified their brotherhood from long ago, and it was brilliantly glowing a beautiful white light. Dean felt hope for a fraction of a second that maybe they just weren't going to die this time, either. He also noticed Sam was still with him, still awake and that the choking had stopped. 

There was something mesmerizing and peaceful about the light, as Dean took it from Sam and held it in his open hand. Sam was visibly reversing back to wellness, now. Dean looked into his brother's eyes with so much gratefulness and love, not believing this gift was real. His Sammy was healed and actually trying to stand. Before they stood together and let themselves out of the locked office, both men shared a moment of holding each other's faces and looking into each other's eyes. 'We made it,' both having the same thought. "I love you so much, Dean," Sam expressed and Dean responded by kissing Sam on the lips and as he backed away, "No me without you," he told Sam. Dean and Sam had the distinct feeling this was bigger than anything they had encountered before. 

Going outside, they found that all the dead people killed by the nasty fog were coming back to life. The brothers continued to walk forward with the glowing amulet in Dean's open hand, and then they came upon Chuck. There was something about Chuck that felt different. Something they never noticed when they first met him. There was an energy that matched the energy coming from the amulet. Both brothers had a gnawing feeling something huge was about to hit them. At first, their minds were scrolling, through everything they had read, everything they had learned, and all the knowledge they had about archangels and entities and demons, but there was nothing that had prepared them for 'this'. They denied it, at first, but then acceptance entered their brains. This was God. 'Holy crap, it's God,' both brothers realized at the same time. 

Chapter Four 

Dean and Sam had their hands full. Once Chuck had convinced them he was actually God, they returned to the bunker together. It was humbling, overwhelming and emotional to be in the presence of the creator, all knowing, Father of everyone and all things. Both brothers' minds were flooded with so many questions, especially Sam. Dean was resentful of all the suffering and all the loss that no one seemed to have been saved from. Who wouldn't be? God explained to Dean his actions, but it still didn't sit well. Dean couldn't 'believe' he was actually talking with God, first of all, much less questioning anything. Soon, they talked of Amara and tried to address how they were going to stop her. 

Sam's thoughts went to his newly revealed feelings and relationship with his brother. He loved his brother so much and he couldn't help worrying about what God would think of their unbrotherly attraction. It was difficult to let go all the teachings of men over time, interpretations of what the rules were or what God forbade. God said nothing of it, though, and he looked upon them with kindness. 'He must know...he knows everything,' Sam's mind was going a thousand miles a minute with questions, but he tried to keep a handle on it. For the next few days, the hunters had dealt with God staying their bunker, using the community shower, cooking for them, and trying to work through his reluctance at eliminating his sister. 

The hunters went to rescue the latest prophet and bring him back to the bunker, believing he would know the location of Amara. They also received a call from Metatron, who insisted he was going to help them. Sam had a problem with this, of course, and still wanted to torture and kill the Scribe for murdering his big brother and putting him through the worst pain of his life, but Sam was used to burying all his crap in order to take care of business. Sam and Dean couldn't believe the combination of occupants in their home. Unfortunately, it was becoming desperate times and the forces needed for defeating Amara were going to include their past enemies all working together on this one. Metatron had presented the boys with an idea to rescue Cas, so they could convince Lucifer, still inside of Cas, to defeat Amara. Sam HATED this idea. Dean would have to keep Amara distracted while the rest of them got the angel out. It made the younger brother nervous to let Dean anywhere near the bitch. He was so tired of Amara's hold on his brother. He knew Dean was worried too and he knew Dean felt humiliated inside that he couldn't fight the weakness he had around the sister of God. She had him so confused he wasn't sure he could kill her, if given the opportunity. Sam assured Dean he would take care of it when it came to that but letting him be 'alone' with her was NOT an agreeable idea.

The brothers were business on business, formulating a plan. In between, they could only share quick seconds of eye contact, both reading each other's feelings. They both tried to look into each other's eyes as much as possible, to receive that affirmation of each other's presence. It brought them strength, even though they had no privacy to touch or hold one another. They rescued Lucifer with Metatron's plan actually coming through and he wound up sacrificing himself to help them. Perhaps trying to atone for his crap, he faced Amara and delayed her, giving Sam, the prophet and Cas/Lucifer a chance to get to the Impala. Sam wondered, as they were running, what happened to his brother, praying for his safety.

Amara attacked Sam with Cas/Lucifer and the prophet in the car, but God saved them and transported them all back to the bunker in an instant. Dean made it back to the bunker, much to Sam's relief, and when he entered me he had only eyes for Sam. Both the hunters did a quick visual assessment of the other, no one around them noticing the flicker of intense devotion in their eyes. The plan hadn't gone smoothly, but at least they had accomplished getting Lucifer out of Amara's hold and brought him back here. Sam was 'not' comfortable with Lucifer, but it was nothing like it had been...plus God was there and the brothers felt that Lucifer wouldn't be able to hurt anyone like he could before. Dean told Sam that Amara wanted him to join her forever. Sam was instantly pissed and possessive, thinking no way in Hell was he going to lose Dean now. She was betrayed and engraved when she realized Dean had been tricking her, but she let him go. 

The brothers now housed Lucifer and God in the bunker, but let the poor exhausted prophet go. When God made it known that Lucifer was powerless to hurt anyone, they tried to talk to him about helping them defeat Amara. Sam's reservations about being around Lucifer again were 'very' concerning to his brother, but Dean watched him handle himself without showing it. The younger man couldn't help throwing grateful looks Dean's way, assuring his brother that this was no longer a problem. Dean couldn't help worrying, cuz that's who he was and Sam was his number one priority. The brothers spent some miserable time refereeing for the Creator and his wayward son, then decided they would leave them for awhile and go get groceries. There was nothing left to eat in the bunker. They took a road trip together, stealing kisses in the car and holding hands tightly. Each man was mentally thanking God and the Earth and each other and anything else in the universe that they were still here and together. 

As the brothers returned with bags of supplies, they could see that Lucifer and God had been arguing. Sam tried to encourage communication, approaching the two carefully. Lucifer was still so pissed at Sam and intent on making him suffer. He meant to simply inflict damages on the younger brother, but was reminded that God had grounded him. Lucifer couldn't pull any evil stunts against the group since God had wiped his powers away. Sam and Dean still had trouble believing they had God and Lucifer in their very home and they were in front of them arguing like a dad and an errant child. It was mind boggling the way these two powerful beings could argue about family matters just like humans. 

Father of all Creation and his pissed off son were not communicating well, nor were they responding to Dean and Sam's continued nagging to resolve differences so they could get on with saving mankind. Dean and Sam were contemplating how the Hell to get these two to move forward and work on a plan. Dean realized that he had an opportunity to be alone with Sam when God and Lucifer went to their separate corners to ignore one another. Lucifer had chosen Sam's room to be his corner, for the moment, and poor Sam was left with nowhere to sleep.

As his little brother walked by his room heading for one of the guest rooms, Dean grabbed him by the collar of his plaid shirt and pulled him in swiftly, shutting the door. Sam responded at first in shock and a pissed off "What the Hell, Dean?" But then the way Dean was looking at him quickly shut up any further questions. Sam and Dean had both been in hunter/hero/saving people mode for a week now and any show of being more than brothers had been buried in order to focus on the goal. Except for the quick kisses in the car, they were long overdue for some alone time and serious touching. 

Sam's eyebrow rose up as he was beginning to catch on to his brother's intent. The heat in their eyes spoke volumes. The room instantly rose in temperature and their breathing increased. Looking into each other's eyes they saw their matched hunger and need. They pushed together together so fast, they almost broke each other's noses and teeth, kissing hard. They couldn't stop to think about swollen lips and flushed cheeks or anything else that might reveal to their guests what they had been doing because they were lost in instant passion. 

They shoved tongues into each other's mouths and kissed hotly, their hands all over each other. They were desperate to feel every inch of each other, both hurting so bad they couldn't stop if they tried. Dean immediately went for Sam's shirt, pulling it up over Sam's head. Then Sam reciprocated and pulled Dean's flannel off first, then his t-shirt. Once they had skin on skin, the fires had ignited so hot between them, there was no stopping it. They pushed together harder, Dean refusing to be the one up against the wall this time and loving that he could roughly push Sam down on his bed and land on top of him. The strength between them would have been physically dangerous to anyone else. To them, it was an incredible turn on and had them kissing rougher and harder, their hands pushing at each other's jeans. There was the slight copper taste of blood but neither man knew which lip it had come from. They couldn't wait. They were both so fucking hot they were going to cum in their pants if they didn't hurry. Dean growled loudly and backed up just enough to force Sam's button apart. He heavily dropped back down on Sam and looked at him in the eye panting heavily. Dean met his intense stare, both men's dilated pupils turning each other on even more. Dean tried to catch his breath before he attacked Sam's mouth again. His hands were working on getting Sam's jeans pushed down off his hips. All he needed was access to that incredible cock. 

The passion was intense and powerful, slamming into each of them, as they kept rubbing rock hard erections together through their boxers. "Uh...Uh...," was all Sam could manage. He was so god dammed in need and spiraled toward orgasm with pre-come spilling out. Dean wasn't any slower at things as he pushed down hard to meet Sam's thrusts. 'Fuck, it felt so good,' Dean thought, as he thrust and thrust, pushing harder against Sam. He could feel the wetness through his underwear and guessed each of their dicks had soaked through their boxers enough to lube everything. The brothers were groaning louder and louder, panting and moaning, as they pumped their hips in a perfect rhythm that kept their begging cocks rubbing against each other fast. "I need you so much," Dean panted out to his brother. They had broken the kiss to breathe and Dean was going for Sam's beautiful ear to lick and nip. Sam was lost in the spiraling affect of their cocks rubbing against each other and Dean's hold on him. "I love you so much, Dean....God," Sam wasn't able to say anything further. As they pumped their hips faster and their cocks rubbed against each other harder and faster, each man held on for the climb. Their orgasms were coming and they couldn't stop, nor could they hear or see anything else. Harder and harder and faster they pushed, and within the next few seconds it was there..."ooooohhh, Goooooddddd," from Sam and "Saaammmyyy," from Dean and they clung to each other straining, "nnnngghhhhhh....uuuuhhhhhh," both men released long growls of pleasure, tense and gripping each other with white knuckles. 

They came so hard they thought they were going to pop blood vessels. They had no choice but to hold on tight and ride it through and God, it was good. They finally were released from the grip of their orgasms, moaning and grunting in pleasure as they collapsed to relax their muscles and grip on each other. Dean was heavy on top of Sam, both men had collapsed in a heap of sweaty panting post orgasmic high's. Breathing seemed to be the only thing either of them could accomplish at the moment. Sam tried to say something but all that came out in between his harsh breathing was, "uuhhhh," and he swallowed and tried again, "uh." Dean had no response, though he wanted to. It was a few minutes before either man could get enough oxygen to actually realize they were still alive and hadn't combusted. Dean raised his head from laying on Sam's shoulder and forced himself to hold his head up and look at Sam. His brother was looking at him. They were still breathing hard, but both men smiled at what they had lost control of, AGAIN, and snickered at being like a couple of teenagers. 

The brothers turned more serious and touched each other's cheeks, holding each other's faces and focusing on each other. Sam told him, "Dean, you are so important to me. Please know how important. If this is all we get, and shit goes sideways...only you and only us is where I want to land...the scenery won't matter, just that I'm with you." Dean felt his eyes well up with unshed moisture and he tried to hold that back and not ruin the moment. He could see the love in Sammy's eyes and it was all for him. "Ditto, kid...and maybe beer...yeah, you first, but maybe beer too." Sam pushed at his brother to get him off him and rolled his eyes, both men smiling at that. As they pulled apart and Dean rose off Sam to get up, their crotches immediately felt the cool air and they both shivered. "Good God, gross, man," Sam complained about his gooey wet sticky underwear. "Like I said, Ditto, kid," Dean added. They laughed and grabbed dry towels to clean themselves off. They certainly didn't want to go out of the room and face their house guests. Dean and Sam decided to hide for a few hours longer and enjoy each other's company. They wound up falling asleep and then approached both roommates with renewed energy and focus. They needed to get God and Lucifer to talk or they were never gonna get anywhere. 

The plan was everyone had a part. Lucifer, Crowley, Rowena and God. The brothers had brought them all together to team up. There was one detail that Sam hadn't told Dean about, when God informed him that the Mark would still imprison his sister is someone wore it. Sam sacrificed himself, since his brother had already gone through that. Of course, he hadn't told Dean upfront, knowing full well his brother would have blown his top and stopped him. They initiated their plan of attack and it was time to use the Mark and that's the moment Dean realized that his Sam had thrown himself under the bus. 'No,' Dean rejected what was happening with a sinking feeling in his gut. Sam was going to receive the fuckin' Mark. Dean panicked, "Sam, no," but realized his brother had already arranged to take the brunt of this with Rowena and that this 'was' about to happen. Dean vowed that Sam would 'never' be alone with the Mark and he vowed to do anything he could to keep him from harm and from suffering. When he saw the electrical attacking his brother's arm, causing him to crouch over in pain, he moved over to grab onto him and help any way he could.

As the Mark stopped burning Sam's arm and retraced, everyone realized that Amara had proven too strong for their plan and they watched her attack God and weaken him before it could lock her away. She had been weakened, but so had God. Everyone went back to the bunker to see what the hell they were supposed to do now. As soon as they were alone, Sam found himself aggressively pulled into a hug and held tight. Dean had been frantic, worried about Sam, and needed to hand onto him just for a minute until his nerves settled. Sam instantly had returned the embrace, needing it just as much. Both men couldn't believe they were still here and still in one piece. Soon, they were heading back into the common area and looking around at the failure on everybody's faces, including their own. Looking at God, gave no one any comfort, as He was obviously in terrible shape. The only good thing that had happened was they got Cas back. Lucifer had been cast away for the time being. 

The very last effort and final act they had come up with was to trick Amara like before, using Dean. Sam was 'not' for this, but he knew his brother was going to do it anyway. 'Why fucking now,' Sam was screaming in his head because they had 'just' begun and this was 'so' fucking unfair that they would lose each other now. Sam wanted 'nothing' without Dean. He was so fucking upset. On the outside, he was barely showing it, but on the inside he was screaming at the top of his lungs. That Bitch was going to cause him to lose Dean and he was 'not' gonna do this...not fucking again! 

Sam was a bundle of nervous emotional energy as it became apparent that the only chance they had at saving the world was to let this run its course. Rowena's spell was going to turn his older brother, his lover, into a walking time bomb. Oh, and Dean was FUCKING DOING IT. He worked through the plan but did not hide his hurt and his anger at the injustice of it all. Dean was covering his emotions, too. He was scared...scared of Amara not taking the bait, scared of blowing the hell up and wondering how that might just hurt, but most of all terrified at leaving Sam once again, knowing he hadn't been there so many times. Dean knew it wasn't fair and he knew the job they had was always going to lead to shit like this. The brothers went through the motions, everyone having a part, all the way up til it was time for Dean to leave and go meet Amara. He had to say goodbye to Sam...'his' Sam...his lover and his best friend, his soul. With tears just begging to fall, but being forcefully held in his eyes, Dean walked over to Sam and tried to make light of it. Sam was a wreck, this wasn't going to end well. 

They searched each other's eyes and saw the love there, the exchange of everything they had been faced with and beaten because they were together. They relayed all that they were and all that they felt. The injustice of them never being able to enjoy the comforts of being lovers like other people was not for them. They were not to have it. Once again, Sam was going to lose it. They hugged and Dean gave Sam the keys to 'Baby' then asked Cas to please stay with Sam and keep him safe..."he's gonna be a wreck when this goes down, don't let him do anything stupid," Dean warned Castiel and the angel assured him he would stayed on Sam's heels. 

With Dean gone, Sam had no choice but to wait things out with the rest of the group. When he realized the darkness was leaving and the sky was clearing up, his heart sank. He felt sick. He knew Dean had done it, but he also knew his brother was no more. He had defeated Amara and the world was saved, but he would never have him back. 

Castiel followed Sam everywhere. The younger brother knew why, but he was so numb that he couldn't feel anything. Cas kept trying to talk to him, but Sam just had nothing to say. He was not even considering how to survive yet without Dean because he hadn't even come to terms that he was dead. Sam was very close to busting out bawling...very close...and then he saw the bitch in the bunker before him, the angel casting marks written in blood and then his angel friend was beamed away in a bright light. He didn't care. He didn't care what she was, who she was or why she was here. She wouldn't shoot him, either, fuck her. Sam walked toward the bitch and challenged her. 'How does she know who I am,' he thought as he felt himself struck by a bullet in the leg. 'Fuck, Dean is gone,' was his last thought as he passed out. To be continued.....


End file.
